You may run out of patience in teaching children but keep in mind that it is always important to consider their feelings as they are growing. Thus, it is essential to be mindful of what you say to them. If you want to improve your parenting approach, here are the ten things that you should never say to your children.
- It’s not a big deal
If your child is upset or sad, no matter what reason it is, never invalidate it by telling them that it is not a big deal. As a parent, you should appreciate that your child opened up to you. This means they seek help and comfort from you. Instead of saying this kind of statement, tell them that everything will be alright.
- We couldn’t afford that
As you instill to your kids that you could not afford to buy their wants can create a sense of fear that as parents, you are out of control in managing your finances. Explain to your kids that you’re saving something for important matters. With this, kids will be confused and it is an opportunity for you to discuss cash management.
- You’re bad
Never tell your kids that they are bad just because they did something wrong. Committing mistakes is part of growing and that does not make them bad. If your kids misbehave, explain that their behavior is not good. Let them realize that they will be harmed by their actions once they continue misbehaving.
- Follow me because I am always right
Forcing your kids to obey you by telling them that they should follow you because you’re always right is a big no. Instilling discipline to your child does not mean you should not consider their opinions. Parents also commit mistakes and that does not make you right all the time. As an alternative to the statement, you can explain the advantages and the disadvantages of the point you want to convey.
- Do this…or else
Part of the discipline method of parents nowadays is to impose conditions whenever they want the child to behave. However, the “do this…or else” statement sounds like a threat to children. This will make them fearful rather than disciplined. If you want them to follow you, as a parent, you should walk your talk. Be an example to them so that they can realize the benefits of what you’re saying.
- That’s not good enough
As you avoid to invalidate the feelings of your children, also make sure that you also consider their efforts. Never tell your children that they are not good enough, especially when they give their best. This unmotivated them and worst, they will grow to doubt themselves.
If you seek to become a better parent, ditch these kinds of statements. Bear in mind that language matters. Even so, words you speak do not only reflect on your beliefs but can significantly affect the beliefs that your children develop. It is ideal when you’re frustrated towards your kids, pull-off yourself from the situation, and give yourself a moment to think. Hearing the words can only take for a second but how it impacts someone is a lifetime.